EDITOR’S NOTE:
The late Ron Moody’s performance of Reviewing the Situation has alway been my favorite song from my favorite musical, Oliver! 

In 2013, after writing the first stanza of this parody, I’m Reviewing the Diagnosis, my Muse went quiet. While attending an international  dermatology conference in Vancouver (June 2015),  however, I was inspired by a Frenchman, two Brits and a Swede to complete the lyrics.

For maximum effect, please CLICK FOR VIDEO to hear Moody sing the tune. One day I will get around to recording it.

I’m reviewing a diagnosis
Of a problem that a patient brought to me.
I will use my… Education…
To determine what the malady might be.

A malady you rarely see 
with any great rapidity;
A spot appears upon his head 
could be salmon, could be red.
Perhaps it’s time to take a look 
on the “Net” or in a book …
Dermatitis it might be
dermatitis is what I see…

There’s a rash the size of a dime on my patient’s head.
And now, a week later… all I know is that it’s red.

I think I better think it out again.

I’m reviewing a diagnosis
And a guess I guess Is what I’ll have to make.
And after careful consideration
Prednisone I’ll make the patient take.

I’ll give him lots and lots of it,
Even if he wants to quit.
And with a little bit of luck,
He will not see a rubber duck.
But now I think he’s got a curse…
‘Cuz all his symptoms are getting worse…

I think I better think it out again.

I’m reviewing a diagnosis
I see his skin is turning bright bright red.
There is flaking, lots of flaking;
The symptoms are quite clearly red and shed.

Psoriasis it just might be,
The symptoms fit it to a tee.
But wait, there’s sparing on his thigh;
Perhaps I now should question why
The diagnosis is not firm.
Perhaps there’s more that I must learn.
Time goes by and he’s back to me.
Looking for a remedy.
A biopsy finally tells me what he’s got.
But wait, all it tells me
Is what it’s not.

I think I better think it out again.

I’m reviewing a diagnosis
And need to find an answer really quick.
I’m a doctor, filled with knowledge,
To help all those who come to me quite sick.

So, I took another careful look,
Remembered something in a book;
Images came back to me
My patient does have PRP;
And I say that quite officially
And I’m truly very proud of me.